“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving.” - A Hat Full of Sky.
It's been a good 2 weeks in Singapore. I didn't think i'll change much after being away for 3 months, but I feel sort of different. Different yet the same. I think if anyone has left home for a long time, and then came back again couple of months or even a year later, they'll understand what I mean.
Before you're back, people say things like how your family would be missing you since you've been away for a long time, but truth be told, I don't think so. My family might miss me, but they continue their lives as per normal, and that is a great thing. In fact I see them a lot lesser than I use to before I left - blame it on jet lag hahaha. And that is okay. Every shopping trip/dinner with them is a fun time where I get to rattle on about my life in Paris/random things in general. They think I talk too much now that I'm back!
I've always wondered what it would be life to leave singapore for a couple of months, one year, and then come back later. I guess if i ever want to take off and see the world, I can (if i have the $). Because coming back to SG, though there is familiarity with the food and places, and the comfort of home, it doesn't feel too different from living alone in Paris (because my family members are so busy as usual!) This gives me the desire to go on and travel more in the future. Because I know I can, and my family will be still the same when i'm back :)
Nevertheless, I don't particularly enjoy the Singapore weather though this sweltering heat means its summer all day, everyday, all year round, and I can still flounce around in my summer dresses.
Then again, I'm so excited to experience autumn and winter in Europe, layering and dressing up for classes! Sorry, bimbo moment.
The main reason I come back to Singapore is FOOD. Because coming back for people puts a lot of pressure on them, and it can sometimes be disappointing. You realise you're very dispensable. But it also teaches you to be okay. Be okay with the fact that friends, life and all that stuff you use to put so much emphasis on, is actually not that important, and things are fleeting/nothing but momentary.
This helps me to enjoy every single moment in life, every short car conversation, every soccer match with my brother (even though I have no clue about soccer, and I sit there and talk and ask all sorts of random questions), every dinner with my friends, every single time my friends ask me how I'm doing or remember that somewhere out there in another side of the world I still exist :)
One of my friends said this on Instagram, "Really glad seeing everyone moving ahead in life!" accompanied with a photo of a group of us at dinner. Its such a heartwarming thing to hear. Everyone moving ahead, everyone growing up, everyone experiencing new things.
Thank you to the family and friends who have been so encouraging all these years, and even though we don't regularly catch up, thank you for always being the same humble people that you all are. Thank you for remembering me, and for taking the time off to gather and send me off, to make me feel part of a second family! Thank you for being happy for my successes, and adventures in life. I love you all with all my heart and wish you all the happiness in the world <3
I know its not thanksgiving, but I've been feeling really grateful lately.
See you all next fall!